D 12 Serially Found- “I found a job”

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I am jobless now. Psyching myself silently and verbally,  ‘I am on vacation’,  because  a) convincing myself is more  calming than keeping my nose to the grindstone,  and b) this is the best time to blog and write using 60 percent of valuable time. With a little money left on the bank and a part time job to tide me over for a while, I have plans. Either, I will pretend not to be hungry (Jesus lived forty days on water) since blogging and writing takes most of my time,  in turn, this helps in my age long battle of dieting. Or, I will make myself available to all my friends, hindus, christians, buddhist, jewish, muslims (believe me I have them all) on all birthdays, kids and seniors,  all kinds of anniversaries even death, all kinds of holidays even librarian holidays and don’t forget the doggy bag. I will store in the freezer each and every morsel of food in a ziploc with name and date ready for consumption on a first in first out basis. So that at least solves my daily hunger problem. What more, this exercise benefits me in the long run because  going out to all parties and holidays will expose me on how different people and culture celebrate these occasions so, therefore,  when I get home I will paint a picture on my blog about them. Don’t you worry I will always express gratitude for  all the food, get all their recipes and post it in my blog. With this plan in mind I could stay for six months like this. Ha ha.

Even If i am jobless  it would comfort me at least,  if  I’m  married. Un/fortunately  I am still single. I’ve been engage for almost two years now and he said wait till next year. FINE. I told him ‘do whatever you want, I don’t want to hear any promises. FINE. Then I will have more time to blog and write because a) i don’t have children or pets and b) I will never have children or pets.  Good news he has been replaced by my blogging and writing :).  Even steven. I will write everything about him how he is controlling, uncaring, cold, selfish. How he snores and farts in the same volume, makes you feel you’re inside a septic, how he’s not taking shower everyday. His skinny arms and legs will make a skeleton run away. I will make him the most despicable, contemptible subject of all my blogs. He would asks me to marry him, I say NO, then I turn my back away from him, he comes begging from behind,

“I can’t live without you” almost  a tear in his eyes  because i cook the best food, clean the house and do laundry for him.

“go hire your own cook and housekeeper” yelling and angry, I leave him alone and run to my car. Then he sends me chocolates and dozens of flowers for a couple of days  (not the stalking kind), it comes with a love note expressing how he misses me, how compatible are we together, how special he feels when I am with him, how I am the best of all the other girlfriend he had, how he decided to spend the rest of his life with me. He would beg and beg until… Of course I wouldn’t kill him in the story because after so many attempts (maybe three days) my heart softens up.

Perhaps I could go to a casino and try my luck on the small time slot machines.  I don’t really have to gamble my money away because a ten dollar ticket includes  a) fare back and forth, b) fifteen dollar worth gambling ticket and, c) an all you can eat free lunch buffet. What’s good about this I could stay in the restaurant for as long as I could, take my time, eat very slowly and try all the food around (I don’t know if I could sneak in a doggy bag?).  Or, if I decide to use the slot machine, I’ve learned a lesson when i was with my aunt in California,  this is what I resolve to do a) stop pulling the handle bars in the slot machine after i get my winning, b) put the money away for tomorrow, another ten dollars, another day, then,  c) I will bring my laptop, sit on a corner and start blogging. I am interested in documenting some native Americans who they say is where the income from these casinos goes. But I never saw one native Americans around, my aunt said they don’t live there.

Or maybe I should face the facts of my life, that I am jobless, I should  go out job hunting, I will get a list of all the employment agencies around here make a gant chart to plan out when and where to go from this day on. I will check my closet for my attire, don’t forget the boots, it’s getting chilly at night. With the current unemployment problem I will not be alone in my search.  Once I get to their offices,  I will,   a) fill out all the application forms, submit all my credentials,  and  b) sit down and  wait (they make everybody wait)  start blogging until my name is called for interview.  There are more than twenty agencies around, I’m looking at twenty blogs. Wow.  

And now I think I found a job

 

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