D14: Your voice will find you

my.limit

When I was eleven years old our neighborhood sponsored a summer class where young children encouraged to attend. Aside from playing games and food we also had classes about history or environment and were taught to develop this habit of reading. Along with them are couples of books lent  us for reading. The book given to me was a story about a girl who succeeded in life, that’s about all I could remember of that story now but I thoroughly enjoyed reading the book at the end of the class I ask one of the ladies if I could have it, I remember the book given to me and even gave me another one. I was exceedingly happy I would read and reread that book when I get the chance until it got lost when we moved out.

My parents, their parents before them were like modern day gypsies searching for opportunities both to keep roof above their heads and feed hungry stomach. I remember moving out and into different school each year as my own family change residence every year.

I’ve experienced the best and worst in life. Worst is not knowing when the next meal is and best is when we were able to go out shopping for food. Just the same though, it wasn’t an affluent neighborhood where I grew up where fathers dressed in tie and suit drove their own cars, their wife had their own cars, too, going shopping, while their children go to school driven in school bus. My neighborhood instead, consists of a couple next door cursing and yelling at each other in the early morning hours, the husband coming home late and drunk, the wife complaining about finances, in between are symphonies of babies crying. My parents were not like that but I went to school with money enough for bus fare (no food money)  and did my best because I have to get a job and help the family. I am not saying that there isn’t any meaning with what I’ve accomplished but I grew up where my perspective are limited to acquiring material things or putting food on the table.  I swore to stop living a life or doing things without substance or meaning. That girl in my book who became successful in her life. Dream.  Was a word I never knew existed or how it can be done. Nevertheless,  based on what was around me I would accept or eliminate situations or things that i  want and don’t want to see myself  in the future.  I saw people kissing asses working to build their careers and titles, they never stop kissing asses, I eliminated them from my dreams, I heard of people living in mansions driving different cars yet their happiness were short lived, I eliminated them from my desires. I saw people committed suicide after making money, I eliminated that.

Had I not read that book and not learned that there is such a thing as dreaming to be successful,  I would have probably grow old, get sick and die. Unsatisfied. Unfulfilled. Going through life with nothing to pass on to my children but  how to acquire more wealth without ever showing them true wealth.

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