Grateful and Guilty

Grateful and Guilty
Thank you Cakes, breads, donuts and all sweets,
A few weeks ago I met with my doctor, we talked about the results of my blood test. “Everything is fine”, she said, my liver, kidney, pancreas are all in good condition, while my cholesterol are under control. “There is just one small thing, though, your sugar”. In a bid to invalidate her statement it followed with, “Don’t worry you are not diabetic”, I felt relieved while looking at her eyes, my arms wrapped around my chest. The bad thing is my sugar is nowhere along the optimal level, the good news is neither am I diabetic. Explaining it in layman’s term it means that on a scale of 1-10 I am on 5 pre-diabetic level. I know what to do, I said to myself. She also told me what to do. “Skip desserts, no sugary drinks”. We almost sounded one, me in my mind, and she talking loudly. Thought I was doing fine since I gave up soda or juice thirty years ago, in fact, coffee or tea has been out of my system for years. That goes with ice cream, too. And I was proud of myself. But I admit going to the donut place once or twice a month. Or was it spending time in bake shops and looking at that chocolate cake frosting that gave me the sugar? Or was it that holiday cake left on the refrigerator two weeks ago? Another piece of a pecan pie, or was that the apple pie I dearly love? Were they all those unconverted sugar that gave me the pre-diabetic level 5 stored in my system? I knew I have to stay away from you, but you were always there, waiting and comforting me anytime, anywhere. On the other hand though maybe I’m being unfair. Probably its my genes? Or my age? I am not as young and my metabolism isn’t as fast. Whatever the reasons are no time to look back. Instead, I have to start skipping my desserts while still at level 5 and slowly turn back the wheels of health lower.


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