Turning my computer on today and checking for the latest prompt I saw it still hasn’t changed. I am not a person who responds to prompts promptly because I work night the night before and confronted with some errands after that during the day, leaving me with no more energy to put even thirty minutes before going to bed. I don’t know what’re my reasons next time but I am sure there will be. You see I am a struggling, neophyte self-made-training writer, I honor the prompts for challenging subjects but i bestow greater honors to people who put in their responses as they are simultaneously my source of inspiration. Though not all responses are good or great, but I read them just the same because I learn about the lives of other people who are in the same voyage as I am or other people who have been there and came back to tell me what they saw in their destination. Sometimes I am jealous of why others could come out with what they come out and despise those mediocre works but I warn myself that I maybe looking at what I made. It is now 7:00 am (EST) and I just check the prompt it still says there is zero responses. On the other hand, the clock is ticking beside me, you-have-to-work-in-a-few-minutes, you-have-to-hurry-up. I am still checking the prompts if responses are coming in, and I am now wondering if there is something wrong in my computer because I don’t trust it when it comes to performance. If there is connection error, system error, or old software or wordpress error I don’t know. Checking the prompts again, frankly I had some envelope pushers events in my life and as I was starting to write I came up with a list. As I started drafting, recalling all those energy filled, daring and adventure seeker fearless adult, suddenly something change at the way I look back at those envelope pushers. Though they were great moments I can’t consider them the real envelope pushers in my life. I ended up asking questions to myself, “am I just afraid?” This is my real envelope pusher right now, of writing, of showing who I am, of being myself. I have done it before, but the real deal is yet to come.