Reading this post from me may bring you to a state of mix emotions: remorse, sympathy, excitement or perhaps joy with what I’ve made of myself and where I am right now.
Expressing gratitude to you who made me smile and laugh is the most I could give you today. Long time ago we were carefree and enjoying what life has to offer, thinking that life is as it was. But for reasons not your fault, some of you weren’t there when I was struggling. I don’t blame you, we each have one.
The struggles I went through was what shaped my life.
You frowned at me when I had untraditional relationships, a mistake you said. Some people agree with you and you talk behind my back. Explaining to you that people do something to keep them sane was unacceptable to your prudishness. There are some decisions in life though uncommon and unnatural is better taken before it gets too late. I overcame that stage in my life.
Looking at your wrinkled brows and blank stares were the only responses I got from you, while I was speaking about my lofty goals, backbreaking to accomplish different things despite my meager resources, you are witnessing my propensity for preposterousness. Believing in me was a troubling vision for you. I just knew deep inside of me, there is more to this life which I myself couldn’t express back then.
Probably some of you were laughing at me, mocking me, belittling my capacity. I know that wasn’t directed at me, you were looking at yourself instead, at your incapacities. In your eyes I was destined to fail.
Yes, we shared pleasant and unpleasant times and I can say with conviction they were all blessings in disguise.
Basing from the polarities in your reactions, understanding me wasn’t easy for you. If you had that trouble, the more I was. In my ardent desire to do many things, I went through the highs and lows of my life. You left me doing what I want, it looked like you never cared, never helped, never prayed, never even wished well.
Convincing that you always wanted the best for me were all hypothetical words. You couldn’t or didn’t help me, neither of us knew what to look forward. What is the best? They’re all theories, I only learned about it when I got there.
And for those who stayed with me, I’m grateful because we are all now in this stage where there’s no more doubts, confusion or judging of capacities. We are in a stage where there’s acceptance, compassion and enjoying the little success and accomplishment we worked for. In a place where no one of us dreamed.
By some stroke of luck I have written this post and you are there reading it. I am still thankful for what you’ve done to me, or not done anything to me, they all helped me, both the action and the inaction.
I knew you always wanted the best for me, this is the best I did. If for you it’s not, there’s nothing I can do.
Your entire community – however you define that; your hometown, your neighborhood, your family, your colleagues – is guaranteed to read your blog tomorrow. Write the post you’d like them to see. In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Community Service.”