Truck drivers reminds us of guys with bulging stomachs, unkempt hair, disheveled clothes, owing to the nature of their job neatness is their last priority. Alone and on the road most of the time, working at unholy hours around unfamiliar locations that their job demands with almost little or no time for private life at all. Unhealthy food, indulging in alcohol and using drugs maybe their normal. The nature of their job takes a toll on their health. My husband who does the same job doesn’t belong to that herd and is the exact opposite. A coworker inquired wondering of any secret he’s keeping, almost a flat stomach, an ideal weight for his height and doesn’t look his age. His wife, that’s me is only around 20-30 pounds lighter than him my muffin top bigger than his. He is done with alcohol is his response when offered one and never rendezvoused with drugs even when younger. He takes care of himself by eating the right food and taking vitamins. Each year he is awarded perfect attendance and lately a letter from work notified he’s getting a no accident award, a proof of his responsibility and dedication to work.
With half german blood in his genes, my husband is as tidy, organized, and well planned in his daily activities, since the day he was born the way his german mother probably would’ve taken cared of him. After his divorce twenty five years ago, friends and coworkers never thought him get together and marrying much more so, an asian. This neat and good looking guy whose hair is clipped short every five weeks is in search for the perfect better half, like himself, whose nieces and nephews go to a local school, whose families go on a cruise once a year, celebrating july 4 with barbecue and fireworks, reuniting families at thanksgiving dinner with turkey, stuffing and cranberries, were what coworkers and friends apparently sees in him.
The present generation may welcome interracial marriages, interracial schools and neighborhood, there remains slight impact to some individuals particularly those people who were born centuries ago, believing that people of the same kind should go together.
When I showed up at my husband place of work, one lady ask him a straightforward question as soon as I turned around. Later my husband related the question was “how come you married her?”, in a new york minute, to appease her curiosity, his immediate reply was, “because you were not here”. My husband would often relate how some comments his co workers made upon hearing him marrying an asian. Why not younger good looking girls around him at work? Were they so ugly and unpleasant it took him twenty five years to finally settle with someone so different and alien like me.
Questions such as these may have been lingering in the minds of these single ladies at work. And seing me in person now, is giving them reassurance and comfort to finally discover they are prettier and ably comparable to me. Perhaps my husband on the other hand knew beforehand expecting that him marrying a foreigner after twenty five long years would come as a shock to the people around him.
When my own asian acquaintances and friends met and saw my husband, they themselves were with mixed emotions, curiosity and admiration, fascinated and boggled, but in the end enthusiastic, confident and making them optimistic about themselves.
We all have shadows. It changes direction as the earth rotates around the sun and could tell an approximate but not the exact time of the day. Shadows don’t follow us. We and the people around us make or own shadows, whether accomplishments, successes, failures, mistakes and downfall. It is not sufficient to stay in one shadow, we rise when we fall, even in rising, we rise higher until we find our own meaning and purpose.
I could have married someone else, or stayed single, but whatever state, that shadow will change direction until I rise higher from my own self. I have always refused to stay in my own shadow and let it determine myself.