“Let’s get together for lunch”, a friend I’ve never seen for months called me one day. As soon as I step in the door of the restaurant I see this face with a big smile standing up from her chair as we kiss and hug each other. Aside from the usual hello-how-are you statement are words that hit a painful spot inside of me, “wow, you are plumpish!”
Weight comments are sacrilegious to women. If you want to evoke an emotion for psychological test on women say something about their weight. I pacified that sudden surging of irritation on that spot inside of me and instead placated myself by convincing that my friend is not expressing an accurate data. The clothes I’m wearing are alwayes the same size through the years. She has a bias opinion. Or she might have a hidden agenda.
In my teens a guy was always calling me fatty. I found out later he had a crush on me when years after he married someone who look like me, a fatty. Sometimes people have hidden agenda when they call you names.
Her description of my physical appearance was actually at the tip of my mouth at the same time affirming my own suspicion when I saw myself in a picture taken weeks before. My friends’ words stayed with me until I went to sleep and the following days. Fatty was in my mind and made me decide to do something about it.
Since that time I drastically cut in half my food serving. Half the serving of what my husband is eating. As I prepare food for us I resolve that I don’t have to eat the same portion as he does. When I weighed a month after I was surprised to lose a few pounds. Not enough but I think a friends’ comment helps a lot.
On the other hand, I don’t qualify for a best or good friend. When I caught a friends’ boyfriend cheating with another girl I told her the painful truth. She did not believe me and never talked to me after that. I lost a friend but I knew I have to say it as it is.
One thing I could guarantee about my friends is I never said bad words or call them names nor harbor bad thoughts behind their back. I may have said some disagreeable words when talking to them but never behind them. That is the best I can do as a friend.
When a negative thought is directed to a person or an object, the same thought is transmitted energetically to that direction. It comes back to where it came from when an interaction occurs, which is you.