Checking the title of the next prompt is what I do after publishing a post. I keep the word hovering in the hallows, immerse among other thoughts that permeates in my consciousness whether awake or sleeping. Hoping until the next session in my ipad whatever that prompt is, is pregnant for another blog.
Pulling the couch to face the window this time, I am sitting and looking at the blue clouds, I am asking myself, rather, repeating to myself, this word, struggle. As the clouds gives way to more clouds, silently I recited the word not only again and again and.. again, but am doing it continuously, faster and faster omitting any gap between the same word, until I ran out of breath, until I found myself catching my breath. Even in deep silence, I ran out of breath.
Why am I in this state, anyway? #torturing oneself without really trying# Could I sleep this away?
I wish wordpress go back to the way they lay out prompts, with hints and clues. It pushes me, to agree, to oppose, to argue, to finally question its original author. Who is this guy with the guts to have this idea? Why couldn’t I come up with an idea?
Now as I sit here after forty eight hours that word is still barren of meaning and all my hours allocated were unproductive. What a waste! I should’ve sat more, pondered more. Perhaps I never gave more than enough opportunity for the word to grow itself. I tried to read more of others’ prompt. There is only so much I can do.
It is never easy, so they say.
Could I have chosen the wrong path? No, no, no. This is not the time to say this is wrong. There is no such thing as wrong passion, its the method of pursuing. I have to convince myself and be more earnest in this pursuit..
I am not one who easily give up.
The next prompt calls for natural, then open. I missed a lot of prompts now. And I have no time to write about all of them.